What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

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Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

How does it feel to have sex with a 40 year old curvy aunty?

What! how could you do that?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

True - how I loved my mum!

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Do you know what she said mum?